Tuesday, August 13

Perfection Facades

The topic of social media influences on young girls came up during our Sunday school class. I've been meaning to post on this for months now, but it took me a while to get it down the way I wanted it.

Our conversation was centered around a conference one of our friend's attended with our youth. It exposed how instagram, facebook, and even blogs set up facades of perfect lives. It made me think about my own social media profiles- specifically this blog.

In recent months I've tried to include the good, beautiful, but also sometimes ugly sides of our life. I've tried showing you all that it is not always rainbows and sunshine. That's still hard to do though. I'm always the together girl. Only pictures that I feel are good go up on instagram, facebook, and this blog. Honestly, who wants the world to see them first thing in the morning with no makeup looking a hot mess. Not this lady. I avoid sharing pictures that have piles of laundry in the background or dirty dishes in the sink.

Having said that- I think we all want to put our best face forward when it comes to what we put out there for the world to see. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, as long as we still show reality, and not build a facade of a perfect, happy go lucky life. Because no one's life is perfect- especially mine.

I had decided not to talk about this on the blog and shoved it to the back of my mind. A few weeks went by and once again it was brought to my attention- this time in a different way. I had stopped by our church one afternoon to pray- I love going when it's quiet and I'm alone with Jesus. Our pastor lives right next door, and I would never stop if they were home. Not because I dislike them, but because I had no intention of them seeing this together girl come apart as a crying mess at the altar. On this particular day, I stopped and poured my heart out before God. You know what's coming right? Our sweet pastor's wife came in and sat beside me. I was mortified and immediately began apologizing for the tears, snot, and ruined mascara. She said something that has stuck with me: It's important for people to see that others are struggling too. Otherwise, we think we are alone in our trials and thus fear revealing our hurts.

So. Very. True.

I've been told that based on what people see of me and my life here on the blog and facebook, it appears we have it all figured out. To be honest though, looking out, I perceive that quite differently. I try to be open and honest with all of you, but I am here to speak to the fact that life isn't always easy. Our life isn't always easy.

Yes, we have a comfortable lifestyle, have been blessed with our precious Mary Grace,  have a beautiful home at the lake, have wonderful family and friends... You get the picture. I'm not trying to brag, I just want to show that by taking a quick peak into someone's life, it can seem like things are pretty perfect. But, I do want to let you know we go through the normal day-to-day struggles, too. Take our home for instance, I would sell it and downsize in a minute if given the chance. We're actually thinking of putting it on the market. Another example, right now we are in the middle of a huge shift in our lives- one that I'm still not quite sure about. I could potentially be a SAHM of sorts and that makes this career lady lose sleep at night.


Everyone has their fair share of struggles and secret issues that haunt them daily- I am no different.
  • I come from a broken home and have always longed for the lives of my friends who come from homes where Mom and Dad are still in love after 30 years. Where they have one home to go to for holidays and special occasions. My parents barely speak to each other, so holiday functions are always divided. 
  • I moved around a lot and went to 10 different schools from K - 12. I wish I had roots, but all I can do is start growing them now.
  • Bob and I disagree and argue just like every other married couple. If you say you have the perfect marriage, then you're better than us. 
  • I am a planner - Bob is not. I want to plan out our budgets, savings, Mary Grace's high school days, and every other detail of our lives. Bob goes with the flow and it drives me nuts. Most of the time we are on the same page, but sometimes we are not.
  • Mommyhood overwhelms me daily and there are times I just need a timeout. With the exception of one hour Friday afternoon, I've literally been with my child 24/7 since last Tuesday. If anyone portrays parenting to be glamorous- they are lying to cover their own fears and shortcomings.
  • I am the most insecure person you'll ever meet. I obsess over what others think and say about me. I'm working on being my own measuring stick, but it's still hard. 
  • I am the clumsiest, ditsiest, most forgetful person. Haven't noticed it? That's because I try oh so hard to cover it up. Just ask my friend, Chickadee. For example, while trying on shoes for MG I misplaced one of her socks. The poor sales lady was looking everywhere. Embarrassing.
I am already regretting airing my dirty laundry per say, but I'm trying to make the point that although I may not always talk about them, like everyone else I have daily struggles.

 For instance, I mentioned my fabulous trip to Birmingham. What I left out was the fact that my battery went dead on day one of the conference and I was embarrassed to ask the instructor to help out. After failed attempts to jump it off, I ended up having to purchase a new battery. It was not the glamorous start to my trip I had envisioned.  Need another example? You won't find this in the pictures of our trip to Callaway Gardens- during our second night a scorpion somehow managed to snuggle up with me in bed and sting my left arm, which resulted in a 4 a.m trip to the ER. To top it off, sweet Mary Grace's face was eat up by what we later identified as spider bites. Yuck! Needless to say, our vacation was cut short.

See. My life is far from glamorous. Days filled with rainbows and sunshine are few and far between. It's rarity when things go as smoothly as I have planned. Each day has it's own struggles, but I try and find the good in each day I'm given.

I say all of this to make this point: Don't compare yourself to others. Don't beat yourself up because all you see of others' lives are the glamorous high points they portray via instagram, facebook, or even blogs. They are only human and struggle daily too, just like you.


Here's to living a perfectly imperfect life!













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