Recently, a man by the name of Pat Robertson made national
news when he declared that it's okay to divorce your spouse if he/she suffers
from Alzheimer's or Dementia. He justifies his stance by stating that these
conditions are "a kind of death". This idea is in direct contrast
with the picture of marriage we find in the Bible. At the heart of a
Christ-centered marriage lies the vow to remain faithful "in sickness and
in health".
Let me share with you a beautiful story that portrays this
truth.
A very dear friend of mine has traveled the heartbreaking
journey through dementia. His wife was diagnosed with vascular dementia nearly
five years ago and from beginning he has been the picture of what it means to
honor your spouse. My friend cared for his wife as much as possible, until the
disease reached a point where outside help was needed.
His wife was eventually placed in a nursing home where she
could receive the care she needed.
While this time of his life has been the hardest he has ever
faced, it has allowed his love for Jesus and for his wife to shine, even
through the darkest days.
My friend made a promise to his wife on their wedding day
many years ago, and he has kept that promise- even amidst the loss caused by dementia.
The Bible instructs husbands to "love your wife as
yourself" and I've never seen this lived out quite like I have with my
friend. Despite the pain of seeing his sweetheart gradually declining, he never
left her side. He could have justified leaving- or not visiting her so often-
because it was so painful, or because she didn't recognize him. In doing so,
though, he would have been putting himself first. In a marriage, your spouse
comes first and my friend knew this truth. He put her needs above his
regardless of the fact that his heart broke daily for the love of his life.
I've watched my friend navigate life without his love by his
side. I've seen his heart on the many morning runs we've had as he shared his
struggles, yet he never once considered leaving her side. You see, when he made
that vow so many years ago, he didn't know this battle would one day come. He
vowed to love his wife regardless of what the future held, and that is exactly
what he has done.
My dear friend lost his precious wife last week. He honored
her until the very end. He loved her to the fullest. He did so much for her
even though she had no way of knowing- at least not on this side of heaven. She
now knows the depth of her husband's love and devotion to her, how he honored
his promise to stay by her side even during her darkest times.
I know she is smiling down at the man who truly loved her as
he loves himself.
In a world where marriage is no longer sacred, love stories
like this give us hope and set an example for the way we are called to love-
deeply and regardless of what life may bring our way.
