Looking Ahead

First and foremost, writing has always been my outlet and this is more than just a blog: it's my journal. In order for a journal to be a true reflection of your life, it must be honest and real. This is an entry I've been working on for nearly two months and I'm finally ready to put pen to paper {or in this case, fingers to keys} and write it out.

Life is not always rainbows and sunshine, especially my life- especially lately. It's no secret that 2012 has been a very hard year for us. New Year's night ended with me heading to Labor and Delivery due to pregnancy complications. Things quickly went from bad to worse as you well remember. We went through months of bedrest, weekly doctor visits, and immense worry over the health of myself and our unborn child. It was a daily battle. I tried to be grateful for the 'rain' in my life by reminding myself that there was a reason for the storm.

 

Finally, after a very rocky few months, our beautiful daughter was born and the storm seemed to be calming. Little did we know, the calm was actually the eye of the storm. I am thankful for those few days of peace because we were able to 'rest' before the storm returned. 

On May 24th we were dealt another blow: I lost my job.

Devastated. I was utterly devastated. I truly love my job and loved where I was. For reasons unknown at the time, God had other plans for me. I could see his brushstrokes, I did not like the colors, but I could not yet see the whole picture. 

I began to feel angry and bitter towards God. I poured out my heart to Him and demanded answers: Why us? Why so many trials? When will it end? I began to feel like a modern day Job. I knew we were in a valley. Valleys are hard, very hard. And while a valley is a low point in life, it's definition can be encouraging. A valley is simply a low point between two mountains, or peaks. It takes two mountains to make one valley. The highs outnumber the lows. I knew that a mountain, a peak, was on the horizon. I just had to get there. More importantly, I had to trust in Him while in the valley, however long that may be.

Ever faithful, He remained by our side and through it all we learned to lean on Him more than ever. Bob was in constant prayer as to what we should do next. My sweet husband. I do not know what I ever did to deserve such a wonderful man. He was much more at peace than I was. He suggested I stay home with Mary Grace for a year or two, that perhaps this was my time to finally get my doctorate degree. 

I am by no means a SAHM. If I had any other job, the thought of staying home might be appealing. I do not have 'any other job'. I am a teacher. I genuinely love what I do. I knew I wanted to continue teaching, so I put it in God's hands. I decided that, come what may, I would be happy.

 

As of yesterday evening, I officially have a new teaching job. Honestly, I haven't been this excited about the new school year in a while. I now see the whole picture. While it would have been easier if things had happened differently, I'm thankful they happened because it brought me where I am today.

And there's no where else I'd rather be.

The lesson in it all? You cannot plan everything in life. Good things will happen. Not so good things will happen. You will be on top of a mountain, and by definition, you will face a few valleys. All you can do is prayerfully and obediently follow the road He calls you to take. It's not easy- especially for the {planners} out there, like me.

But in the end, come what may, you have to resolve to be happy. 

I am sharing this with the sincere hope that it will help encourage others who may be walking through their own valleys.